The Dinner Party...

I have just experienced my first dinner party and I most be honest when telling you that I am thoughrly confused. Maybe I'm just a novice to the situation but I got to tell you that I dont get it. I mean is there an age limit to these whole things, and when I say age limit, I guess I mean an age at which you must be at least, to enjoy. As I sat and looked around the table I saw a hand full of 20 years old thirty somethings, a group of people who I am pretty sure were mostly in their twenties but were full blown "thirties with kids" kind of people. My roomate was there and he was absolutely enjoying himself and fitting in perfectly to the conversation, however, if you get to know my roomate you will find that he is the definition of a 20 year old thirty something. So I ask, am I the minority in this whole thing, I mean once you graduate from college, is the process, get a job, find a place to live and learn to love the dinner party, and if so, where the hell was that memo. Because trust me if I knew that going into college, I would never of come back out, and it took me six years as it was. And lets just say that I am in the minority and that most people my age enjoy these rather dull, eventless gatherings. At what age does this manifistation take place. S**t, I'm 24 and I was looking for a noose, and I can't imagine that I was the only one that felt this way. Or was I.... you see this is the big dilemna. I mean is it possible that no one truely enjoys these God foresaken things, but feel that as we age, and hopefully progress in life, that this is just one of those "next steps" that we are to get accustomed to. I mean I dont want to start anything but this just shouts conspiracy. Maybe the whole world is just against me, maybe one by one people have realized that I am easily irratated by events such as these, events that scream out for attention, and are granted such, for no apparent reason. It's the same for the graduation party. I recently graduated college and my mom asked if I would want a party to celebrate the occasion. Now for those who have not experienced this, dont immediately jump on board when asked this for the first time, I mean I know that it sounds like a cant lose, but trust me its not what you are thinking. There is very little beer, very little music (if any), and most importantly very little people there, THAT YOU KNOW. I mean seriously what the hell is this all about. I have just graduated college and in my heroic return I come home to a house full of 50 and 60 year olds who are talking about everything but, my amazing accomplishment of graduated college under a decade. However, for all you listeners out there, this is different from the "dinner party" in that you dont want to immediatly run from these. You see, at these lifeless, pulse challenging parties there is one major draw, a draw big enough to put up with the night of terror, and that is.....PRESENTS. You literally get 20+ things that you never knew you wanted, or for that matter dont want but will certainly accept based solely on the fact that it is free. You see with the graduation party you are faced with a decision, a night of unmistakable fun (try to step around the sarcasm) and free gifts and a happy mother, or a night of football and beer with the guys. However, with the dinner party there is no decision. I tell you now, for all those aboard, if you are ever approached by a "friend" who wants to go to a dinner party with you, RUN....run like the wind and dont stop running until you have reached a pre-selected safe zone, and for those who dont have a pre-selected safe zone, select one soon. For it is an inevitble state of events that you will be asked to join a dinner party in the near future and when this day of hell arrives the better prepared you are, the more likely you are to survive. And as for the "friend" who approached you dont turst him when he tells you what a joyous occasion it will be, I dont care if this is someone you trust with everything you know true, you still most run from him. Run from him as if you are child be offered candy from a stranger, a stranger in a black over-coat, a stranger in boots, in a dark van with no windows, 3 teeth and a hair or dread-locks not seen since Whoopi. Run and dont look back, trust me when I tell you, you will thank me later.